Week 2 of P90X: Travel makes it tough!

Progress... any positive movement is progress.

I was all over the board with nutrition after Sunday. Until then, though... I was on-point! Travel always gets me! I don't have access to a scale as of Sunday, so the weight above is from Sunday morning. I'll weigh in again when I get home... we'll see what kind of damage I did.

  Personal Score:  C
I was good... until Sunday. But, sprinkled a little fun in there :)

This is the month of travel travel travel…. But what an awesome start to my week! I got to spend my niece’s and Dad’s birthdays with them! Always good to spend time with family.

Then, I headed to San Francisco where I got to see Betty and Cara for the first time since a week before I left BLR, Malibu. They both look amazing! It’s incredible how much a person can change physically in such a short amount of time! But, the best part about seeing them was feeling like we were back in Malibu, sitting at the dining table and chatting it up. It felt like home. I had the best time spending time with them, finally meeting Nicole, and getting to chat with their family. It warmed my heart to no end! Love those girls! We had a fabulous dinner at Original Joe’s and that night ended way too soon. I hope we don’t go long before the next visit!

Even though I had a lot of fun and was full of energy last night, I struggled a little today. Last night, I ordered Fruitti di Mare (a bunch of shell fish in tomato broth over linguini) and one vodka soda cocktail. I had planned that outing for more than a week, and it was part of my 10%, so why did I feel so guilty today? Maybe because I had to skip my workouts today to make it to work on time? Whatever the reason, it’s been eating at me all day and for the first time in months, I was craving chocolate to appease the emotional lashing that was occurring in the transoms of my mind. I even went to Whole Foods and bought healthy snacks and berries so that I wouldn’t get hungry throughout the day, and I found myself emotionally eating those as well! I had to start counting out the nuts and fruit so that I would eat a portion size and not a super size.

Before I left on this extended road trip, I set a goal to do my P90X workouts every day this week. I ended up working out to P90X on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. On Friday and Saturday, I also added a cardio workout to my day. I even got to work out with my brother on Saturday morning, which was a lot of fun! We did KenpoX and I definitely pushed myself harder with him next to me. (Competitive much? haha)

I tried to make healthy choices, for the most part (with the exception of Dad's Birthday dinner and the dinner with Cara and Betty), but I took photos of two of my staple meals: A whole wheat, flax seed, egg white tortilla with organic ham, and fresh salmon wrapped around crab, tobiko and green onion with a dab of cream cheese. I was doing ok for the first few days...

However, I started slacking once I was away from all of my fitness conveniences.  I was up at 4am on Monday, just to squeeze in an hour of P90X before I started my day. I found that I was trying to convince myself to stop working out on Monday morning because 1) it was rude to sweat in someone’s home, 2) because the rug moved too much underneath me, 3) I didn’t have the right dumbbells…EXCUSES… gosh, I sound like some contestants on Season 13 of Biggest Loser, don’t I? Yikes! With a 4am start, it’s no surprise that I was less than eager to repeat that on Tuesday after a 10:30pm bedtime the night before.

I don’t know how people who commute have the time to workout!  I brought my workout clothes into work, but barely had enough time to grab lunch from our work café before heading to another meeting. My day ended at around 6pm, when I met up with my friend so that we could carpool back to her house in San Francisco. Long-story-not-so-short: Inevitably, Tuesday became an unexpected rest day.

So, here I sit on my friend’s couch, waiting for our Quinoa, veggies and fish to cook, reading Facebook posts and Twitter tweets, and trying to find inspiration and motivation for a new tomorrow…. Of course I should have known I’d find it in Amanda Tyson. After her tweet this morning about struggling a little bit, I didn’t expect to read what happened during the rest of her day. I feel like the proud big sister! Amanda had two PB’s (personal bests) today! Two IN A ROW! Amanda ran a mile without stopping for the first time ever… but that wasn’t all. She decided she had energy to spare and went on to run five miles without stopping! What?!?!  Looks like, once again, she’s an inspiration to me and I’ll have to get my arse moving tomorrow! Tonight, I need sleep because work has made me its bitch this week. But Amanda, you are amazeballs! Love you, girl!

One other morsel of inspiration came my way in a text message. A friend said she was cycling through pictures on her phone and found one of me from this time last year. Most of the "before" pictures I have are of me at about 230 pounds. The picture she sent to me was closer to the 259 mark. Unfortunately, that was a time in my life when I would run from cameras, so I have zero photos for displaying progress. Since this picture is the almost at the point where I was beginning my journey, I wanted to share this one with all of you today:

The Vigor 5K is in 4 days! I wonder if my hats were ever delivered to my home address? Can't wait to see the birthday girl (Meg Gazaway) and sport all of our crazy hats!!! Pee-my-pants excited! Going to be so much fun!

With that, I'll leave you with two inspirational quotes to get you through the next few days (the first one made me giggle):

I tried... it didn't work :)

Or playfully snap someone on the keester. ;-)

See you on the fit side!

-Heather

Week 1 of P90X: So far, not bad!

Getting there, slowly but surely...

  

I'm still consuming between 1400 and 1600 calories per day. I ate a lot of sushi this week! For some reason, every time someone asked if I wanted to go out to eat, I would recommend sushi! I think, subconsciously, I knew it was a safe choice to stay away from oils, bad fats, and sugars. I usually order something with just raw fish and veggies - no rice.

This week has been intense! For the most part, my morning starts in the gym. I worked out with my trainer Tuesday and Wednesday this week. The other mornings, I rode the bike and jogged on the treadmill, then I would come home and complete a P90X DVD. My Garmin monitor was registering more than 6 miles per day, on average, and over 1200 calories. However, the scale didn't move much. I must be building a lot of muscle. My clothes fit differently and I think my face is looking thinner, even with curly hair (which, I was told in the past, makes my cheeks look super pudgy)!

The workouts are paying off, even if the scale wants to be an a-hole and not show my progress. Since the scale is not my BFF, I found another way to establish a reason for a mini-celebration each day! VisionSport! I love my new VisionSport shirts. They're soooo cool! When you sweat, an inspirational message appears! This is perfect for me because I sweat like a virgin at a volcano just by WATCHING someone exercise! I may as well get some instant gratification out of it! Ha!

Even though I worked out hard-core all week, I was so sore and tired this morning, that I decided I needed a rest day.

It doesn't surprise me that now that it's after 10 pm, I feel like doing some Yoga X. I'm going to fight the urge, though... it'll be good for me to rest up and start fresh tomorrow morning.

  Personal Score:  A
I have been consistent and diligent all week... until today. But, when my body is telling me that it's time to rest, I listen.

This week, I felt extra accomplished with my exercise regime. I pushed myself. My trainer pushed me too. He now has me up to "Level 6" in his workouts. We reminisced for a moment about how I started at Level 1 and he mentioned that he didn't have much hope for me before BLR. Apparently, I didn't have "what it took" to stick with fitness and nutrition. Much like the theme of this season's Biggest Loser, I was FULL of excuses! Now, he says, he sees that fire inside me and the necessary motivation, discipline, and mindset to be successful. I even noticed that he's more excited to come to our workouts than he was last year! I would even go so far to say that he's just as excited for me to achieve my fitness goals as I am! The biggest difference I've noticed is that when I ask him for a break or a day off, he doesn't react like it's an excuse! He says, "If your body says you need a break, you should listen to it." I now realize that he trusts in me because I am proving to him and myself that I am serious about making this a permanent part of my life.

Sometimes, nuggets of wisdom slip from my trainer's mouth (even at 6am), and I swear he could write his own book of personal inspirational quotes. One such gem came out yesterday as he was beating my body into submission and causing my muscles to shake like the shake-weight. I may have been grumbling... a little... ... ... ok... a lot... and I believe while he commanded that I do my fourth set of plank push ups after a brutal circuit,  an "eff you" even came out of my mouth .... to which he replied, "If your mind and body are telling you it's hard, then it's giving you a hard body." Ummm... ok... that's pretty effing sweet.

Isn't that sooo true?

I was feeling better about abusing my muscles for the hard-body end goal, but then he told me something that, at first, had me very discouraged. He said, "You're seven months away from your goal."

....

WTF?

Talk about an emo roller-coaster! I couldn't understand why he was happy about that and smiling as he delivered this ominous news! I felt so defeated! Seven months?!?! That's the end of July! Summer will be almost over! That sucks! I don't want to do plank push ups for seven months! And I sure as hell don't want to be sporting a mu mu on a beach until July! <tear>

Then, he put it into perspective for me...

"If you do what you're doing right now and don't change a thing, you'll be in 'athlete shape' at 18% body fat or less, in seven months. You don't have to do anything differently. Just keep up your routine." ... Wow.

This was a far cry from a year ago, where the comment from my DOCTOR was, "You will have to do W (with sleep patterns), X (with nutrition), Y (with exercise), and Z (with my mindset/attitude) consistently, at least 5 days per week, for more than a year to lose 100 pounds, JUST TO BE AT A WEIGHT WHERE WE WILL ALLOW YOU TO HAVE BACK SURGERY." Nice incentive, huh? Please let me torture myself to lose weight, just so you can cut me open and render my body immobile for 8 weeks while I recover! Oh, and there's no guarantee I'll be any better off OR out of pain?!? Awesome! Where do I sign up?

And now? I'm on my way to becoming an "athlete?" That just seems so unreal! And no surgery for my back either? I never thought this day would come! Biggest Loser Resort has truly changed my life. I would love to go back, if even for only a week, just to compare my fitness level and challenge myself on some hikes! I'm trying to make that happen before the BL13 Finale in May... 

This whole experience is bringing long-lost joy and happiness back into my life that I had forgotten existed. I didn't even realize how sad I was most of the time, until I became happy again! Being fat is hard! Harder than anything else I can think of! It's constant struggle, fear, pain, humiliation, anxiety, self-loathing, depression, and obsession with food. Nobody should have to live that way. It's not an existence, it's a prison. I know there's a chance I can go back there, so I never ever want to forget where I started my journey. But, I'm hoping that the positive experiences continue to motivate and energize me, so that I am truly living in a fitness lifestyle and not just going through the motions.... not to mention, I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing, "Woooowwww" when people see me now, for the first time since before I started my weight-loss journey." I still have a way to go, but it sure feels good to be healthier and on the right track more often than being off of it!

So, what's next on the agenda? Lots of travel...

This weekend, lots of Cali city visits, starting with the parents' house, then heading to San Francisco to see Cara Canepa Garcia, her hubby Ryan, and Betty Will.

After that, I'm headed to San Mateo, then I'm off to see Meg in Utah for the Vigor 5K and her birthday! We have all decided that we're going to wear crazy hats! Hers is so cute! A birthday cake with candles! I bought three hats and I'm thinking I might go with the leopard one... I feel like it's the most fitting for my personality :)

Excited to see friends and family!

See you on the fit side!
-Heather

Week 0 of P90X: First DVD is tomorrow. But first, some more self-reflection.

Hello, All! I know it's been a few days since I've blogged and I'm probably going to have to cut back to one time per week. Life is getting busy once again and I'm about to start P90X tomorrow. This means, going forward, Saturday will be my rest day and I'll also make it my blog day. I will still post FAT STATS, but they will be encompassing the entire week, not just one day. I won't be posting daily nutrition, but if I try something new that I want to share, I'll post the recipe and nutrition information. I may also post shopping lists, like I'm doing today. I hope you all continue to follow my blog! Thanks for allowing me to be a part of your fitness journeys!

  

I am currently consuming between 1400 and 1600 calories per day. When I go out to eat at a restaurant (which is more often than I'd prefer for weight loss, due to work travel), I always ask for "no oil, no butter, no salt." If I'm ordering a salad, I ask for the dressing on the side and I barely dip my fork in it as I eat. Usually, when I'm finished, the side of dressing looks untouched.

When I purchase food from the grocery store, I try to stay away from unnatural ingredients. READ THE LABEL! If there's something on the ingredients list that you either 1) Don't recognize or 2) Can't pronounce or spell (if asked), then you probably shouldn't be putting it in your body.

A rule of thumb I acquired from my trainer is to try to keep the carb to fiber ratio at less than 10:1. The lower the ratio, the better. For example, if you are eating something with 30g of carbs per serving, it should also have more than 3g of fiber per serving. Much to my surprise, this put Cream of Wheat on the brink of the "bad" zone. I still eat Cream of Wheat and Oatmeal for breakfast, though. Most of the time, with almond milk and fruit. It's filling and it gives me great energy for my morning workouts.

I also do most of my shopping at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. My food list this week was:

Unsweetened Almond Milk

High Fiber, Low Carb Wheat Tortillas

Frozen Fruit

Tofutti Soy Cheese Blend

Black Beans

Organic Egg Whites

Organic Deli Ham

Organic Deli Turkey

Light String Cheese

Honey Crisp Apples

Cutie Tangerines

Bananas

Raw Almonds

Natural Salsa

Bison Patties

Sea Scallops

Salmon

Chicken Breast

Edamame

Whole Wheat Sandwich Thins

Organic Almond Butter

Spinach

Zucchini

Yellow Squash

Yellow Onion

I ate dinner at a friend's house last night and he made THE BEST soup! I have to get the recipe! It only had 350 calories per serving! Although it had cheese in it, it was packed with veggies and tasted like a spicy enchilada. I'm sure I could make a healthy version of it that would taste ALMOST as good... but, that soup was BOMB.com! Once I get the recipe and make a successful healthy version, I'll post it here with my own modifications.

Going forward, my Garmin will track my calories burned for the week. I'll post the totals here, categorized by exercise. I love how the Garmin automatically posts all the calories you've burned, by exercise type, on the GarminConnect web site, once you are in range of your computer!

The only additional exercise I've done so far this week that was not captured in other blog posts was some jogging, quite a few miles on the bike, running intervals and sprints, and a circuit workout with my trainer that left me sore from head to toe for two days.

  Personal Score:  C+
After getting super sore from Thursday's workout, I waited until Saturday to workout again. But, my body was telling me to rest and I listened.

This week was very interesting for me. I felt like I made a few breakthroughs in coping with life and emotions, but I am still feeling like I'm not doing as much as I can or should be doing when it comes to exercise. This is partially due to insomnia (which affects my energy), and partially due to the lack of a solid routine. It's as though I am still seeking an "answer" to how I can keep motivated each day. Being so sore that it hurt to touch my skin hasn't helped my motivation for the last two days, but I instead of beating myself up for skipping Friday, I hung out with friends and didn't worry so much about being in the gym. Funny, I actually only skipped Friday and it feels like I've skipped three days! Ha!

I am so fortunate to have friends that continue to ask me to do active things! Heidi and Marisa get me into yoga at least once per week, Michelle reminds me of available hikes, Ben and Marisa get me into Zumba on Sundays.... and I have others who like to go to the gym or martial arts. I also have the greatest support system with my BLR family and those I've befriended as a result of my BLR experience! So, why is it so difficult for me to stay motivated?

After some self-reflection, I realized there were external factors that were causing me to get in my own way regarding my fitness goals. I am no longer under any delusions; the mental part of fitness is SO important and, for me, much more difficult than the nutrition. If you don't address the mental aspect of "what's wrong," then the positive physical changes will only be temporary, at best.

There were three major stressors lingering in the transoms of my mind. I was able to address one of those factors this week, with success, which gave me a small sense of accomplishment (See the Jan 17-18 blog post).

I can't tell if the chick in the above picture is wearing shorts or granny panties....

Anyway, I have been avoiding some financial factors and they continue to eat at my subconscious. I HAVE to tackle these because they are beginning to feel overwhelming. Ugh. Money... the more I make, the more problems appear! I could easily start preaching about student loans, but I think we all know how we get to that "drowning" stage. I just wish someone would have told me at age 17, as I was entering my first year of college, that student loans aren't free money, they eventually come due (with a vengeance), and the payment can be as much as your mortgage.

The final issue that is causing me angst is the fact that I short-sold a home last year and taxes on the "forgiven amount" are due this year. It's a lot of money. I have worked hard to get to a point in my life where I don't have revolving debt, because I hate owing anybody anything. But, this is a big chunk of debt that is sitting there like a giant turd, stinking up my life. I just hope I can "wipe it clean" in the best way possible so that I can be re-assured that short-selling was not a poor financial decision.

As part of getting my mind "right," I have committed myself to doing healthy things with people I care about. So, on a very positive note, I have few trips coming up that should prove to be exciting and fun! I'll be visiting quite a few friends and family over the next several weeks. My first trip is to hit a few cities right here in California, where I'll be hiking and going to bootcamp classes with several friends and some family members in different cities. The second trip will be to Utah for the Vigor 5K with the birthday girl, Meg, and her fabulous friends (who I already feel like I know and love). For the third trip, I'll be heading to the east coast, where I was told I'd be getting some intense workouts and I may even try spinning for the first time in about 15 years! I'm super excited because I'll be seeing new places and gaining new experiences during each adventure! Plus, I'll be spending some time with some pretty fabulous people and staying fit! It's not so daunting to travel when I know I'll be able to get some good workouts in while I'm on the road. This will be my first true test regarding extended travel with my new lifestyle of fitness. I know you all will hold me accountable! :)

Please keep the texts, posts, tweets (and #shweets), comments and inquiries coming my way! They all help me to make better decisions each day than when I try to do it alone!

See you on the fit side!
-Heather