At Home - Day 12 (Mini resolutions of a wannabe Yogi)

FAT STATS

Heaviest weight (Feb 2011): 259 lbs

 

Starting weight at Biggest Loser Resort (Nov 2011): 217 lbs

 

Current weight: 187.6 (yah, baby! And that's after breakfast, with wet hair! Hahaha! I'm .6 away from 30 lbs down since I started at BLR!)

 

 

FUEL:

Approximately 1200 calories

  

• Breakfast: whole wheat wrap, 4 egg whites, 1oz soy cheese
• Snack: tangerine, 12 almonds 
• Lunch: whole wheat wrap. Grilled chicken. Soy cheese, lettuce, Marisa's homemade tomatillo salsa (super yum y caliente!).
• Snack: 1/8 cup raw cashews. 1/8 cup organic, unsweetened banana chips
• Dinner: Repeated the lunch

 

THE BURN:

Approximately 1700 calories

 

3 miles on treadmill (2 miles at incline 11.5 and 3.5-4mph, 1 mile running at 5.5mph)
1 hour of yoga (where I thought I was going to die)
2 hours of night hiking (fun!)

 

SELF ASSESSMENT:

• Personal score: A  (Aside from a stellar comeback from yesterday's self-pity fest, I pushed myself to the point of severe nausea today... that deserves an A)

MY DAY:

Today, I thought about making a few small goals that are achievable and measurable. These are my mini resolutions for January 2012:

• Go to bed before 10pm at least 5 days per week
• Get up to see the sun rise at least 4 days per week
• Break a sweat at least once every day
• Buy a calorie burn monitor of some sort
• Update my blog in a timely manner :-)
• Sign up for a 5K
• Find a hiking buddy or group (did this today!)
• Attend yoga at least once per week
• Maintain a 1200-1400 calorie per day diet
• Wear those True Religion jeans out in public!!!

Some longer-term goals I am considering, depending on my progress:

• Buy a bikini by April 30 (I'll debate on whether or not to actually WEAR it, after April 30)
• Run and jog the half marathon in San Francisco in April
• Run one 5K in February with Tony LaRussa!
• Run the Shamrock 5K in March with Felisa Enriquez!
• Run a 5K in the Spring with Amanda Tyson! (Looks like I'm flying to the east coast!)
• Find something fun to do on Valentine's Day and nix the whole date with Ben & Jerry thing that has become a tradition over the last few years :-)

I was a little ambitious this morning with all of the exercise. After 3 miles on the treadmill, my yoga class completely kicked my booty! I was in child's pose, sweating from every inch of my skin for a good 10 minutes of the class. I should've known when upon checking in for the class, the obviously-experienced Yogi at the counter looked at my freshly sweat-stained shirt and said, "Did you just run? You're crazy to do that before yoga! I couldn't!" Ummmm... crap.

She was right! What was I thinking? It was tough!!! Wow! However, I have to say that there really is nothing like hitting a Warrior 2 pose and seeing your muscles shake and skin glisten from all of your hard work! Or, when you FINALLY  hit a seemingly impossible pose, even if only for a second, that you stood and watched the others do many times before and thought to yourself, "Yah, right! Not in THIS lifetime!"

After yoga, I made myself a bomb.com burrito with Marisa Vazquez's homemade tomatillo salsa. Esophogasmic status for sure! Thanks, M! Un poco caliente, pero sabor fantastico!

I rested and stretched a little between email and meetings. Thank goodness this week has been so dead at work. I needed the transition period before the craziness sets in. My job can get pretty insane and I'm not looking forward to the "busy season." I still have tremendous fear about my job completely enveloping my life and causing my fitness goals to slip by the wayside. This is where I'll be needing my BLR besties for support and reminders of why we are doing what we are doing.

At about 5pm, I headed out for my first night hike with a group I joined this morning called Sacramento Trail Mix. (http://www.sacramentotrailmix.com) What a fun bunch! Tonight's hike was a night hike along the American River Trail. It was at a slower pace (approximately 2.5 mph) and we went 3.5 miles. Even though this hike was not for a calorie burn, it was WAY better than sitting in front of the TV and trying to avoid the refrigerator!

My new friend, Michelle

The night hike group

I love that Lisa is smiling in the background!

I met a couple of really cool people and I plan on hanging with this group quite a bit! They're snow-shoeing tomorrow, but I already committed to yoga in the morning. The hike sure made me miss my BLR buddies! I thought about them a lot and how much fun they would have had with us! Megan, Kelly, Brianne, Cara, Shelene, Haley and of course, most of Van 4. SacramentoTrailMix has more advanced hikes available as well, but the guide tonight (Gary) described this particular bunch as a "social group with a hiking problem." Love it! I will be heading to REI this week to buy snow shoes, snow clothes, and some poles. I've never been snow-shoeing and it sounds like a blast!!!

One final note... this goes out to my friend - let's call her "Betty." I read your blog today and it made me cry because the helpless feelings you were describing (quite perfectly, by the way), were exactly the way I've felt part of this week and ALL of yesterday. I felt hopeless, desperate, and so so sad!  I wanted to just give up so badly! You're right - it is "easier" being fat, but only in the sense that it's easy to get fat and stay fat. Nothing else about being fat is easy. If it were "easy," none of us would even think of subjecting ourselves to this pain and difficulty to change it!

I hate the fact that I have to be around people all day that can eat whatever they want (and they do). I hate that I can't enjoy my former life as a total foodie (damn, I miss going out 4 or 5 nights per week and ordering items covered in butter and sauces)! I also hate that I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl that feels unloveable. I hate that I can't buy something in Bebe. I hate that store, but damnit, I want to fit into those hoochie outfits just like my friends can! Unnerving! Fashion designers seem to think that if you're larger, you have no sense of style... or even worse, they don't make your size because they don't want larger people in their clothes! How effed up is that?

Being fat sucks. Not loving yourself sucks.  We are good people and do NOT deserve to be treated that way! So, why do we allow ourselves to abuse ourselves? It makes no sense. The mind is so powerful and it can send you in a downward spiral in seconds...All that stinkin' thinkin'!!

When I beat myself up over these things, and tell myself to snap out of it, I feel worse. Sometimes, I want to curl up into a little ball and cry myself to sleep.... but, you know what? This last difficult period showed me that it can be different. Just when I thought I was on the edge, it was you guys who pulled me back over to the other side where positivity lies. I read your blog and realize I'm not alone. I read Meg's blog and realize there are beautiful, positive, and genuinely good people still on this earth and I truly believe we all met at BLR for a reason! I text Courtney and realize I have support and an awesome friend! I call Karla (a friend in South Dakota) and hear that not only does she want to change too, but she wants to do it the BLR way WITH ME! How awesome is it that we have all this support and love around us and all we have to do is prairie dog our heads above the bullshit and reach out a hand for help? Simply say, "I'm struggling" or "I need a friend." I'll be there in any way I can, as quickly as I can.

A pic from BLR - Megan (love!) and Me

The gang at BLR - old pic, but I wanted to remind us of where we were... Betty, Kelly, Me and Cara. Love you guys!

By the way, "Betty" - I saw some recent pics of you and your sis on your blog and DAMN! You ladies look phe-no-menal!!!  <Biggest hugs ever!>

On that note, I will be signing off, likely until 2012. I may not be able to blog tomorrow night, since I plan to go out with friends for New Year's Eve.

Happy New Year, everyone! Be safe!

See you on the fit side!
-Heather

At Home - Days 10 & 11 (Laziness temporarily set in)

FAT STATS

Heaviest weight (Feb 2011): 259 lbs

Starting weight at Biggest Loser Resort (Nov 2011): 217 lbs

Current weight on Day 11: 188.5 (phew!)

FUEL:

Day 10: Approx 1400 calories

  

• Breakfast: Oatmeal. Banana
• Snack: Apple
• Lunch: Whole wheat wrap. Grilled chicken. Soy cheese, lettuce, salsa.
• Snack: 1/8 cup raw cashews. 1/8 cup organic, unsweetened banana chips (I was at approx. 710 calories at this point)
• Dinner: 15 Mussels steamed in garlic, wine and butter. 2 slices of garlic bread. <See below for details>

Day 11: Approximately 1250 Calories

• Breakfast: Whole wheat wrap. Soy cheese. 4 egg whites
• Snack: Kind Almond Coconut Bar
• Lunch: Whole wheat wrap. Grilled chicken. Soy cheese, lettuce, salsa.
• Snack: 3 oz grilled chicken
• Dinner: Whole wheat wrap. Grilled chicken. Soy cheese, lettuce, salsa. (I really need to eat the grilled chicken and whole wheat wraps because they're ready to expire)

THE BURN:
Unknown

I think I needed a break. Let's just say that I took a two day rest period. The only activity I engaged in was sleeping, a little dancing at a club and walking around the neighborhood... not much at all.

SELF ASSESSMENT:

• Personal score: C- (I'm trying not to be too hard on myself, so I gave myself a passing grade)

MY DAY(s):

Day 10:

Wednesdays have been historically difficult for me, even while I was at BLR. I'm not quite sure why, but I always lose steam  mid-week.

So, about that dinner on Day 10, which was obviously NOT in line with the 90% part of the program... Here is a note and explanation (not an excuse): The garlic bread was a surprise. It came as part of my mussels appetizer. I knew full well what I was getting into with the butter, wine and garlic steamed mussels, but that bread was placed in front of me and the food devil appeared on  my shoulder. He bitch-slapped the hell out of the food angel. The garlic and butter smelled soooo good, I couldn't leave it alone. At first, I told myself, "Just a bite" and I nibbled at a corner. At that point, I should have poured water on the bread or thrown it across the room, because that was the last exhibit of any kind of control that I would display for the next several minutes. Enter the emotional triggers, stage left and right:

Smitten Lindsey, Me, and the fabulous Michelle

My friends, flanking me on either side, began talking about how great their dating lives were going, how happy they were, and how they both met these wonderful guys! As my eyes darted to each of them, left and right, I was sincerely happy for both of them - they each deserve NOTHING BUT THE BEST, but I also felt a twinge of envy set in. I ignored it...  instead, I celebrated the occasion with some emotion-stifling garlic bread! I was happy for them, but my own heart was slowly sinking and bread was there to save it like a life preserver ring. I didn't realize I was in full on bread annihilation mode until the second slice was almost completely gone: I made record time stuffing that first slice in my mouth and two-fisting with the second slice...Ummm...Yah, that was part of my10%, for sure.

Thank goodness a bread basket filled with yummy, warm, aromatic sourdough and whipped butter was across the table and out of my reach. Don't get me wrong, I was eye-balling the heck out of that basket, but I was too embarrassed to reach for it after my elegant garlic bread etiquette display. When I asked that the basket be taken away with what was left of my mussels, the waitress tried to tell me that I should save the mussel broth (butter, garlic and wine) for the bread in the basket. Poor thing probably saw my head flip around like in The Exorcist when she wouldn't relent. Sorry, Miss Waitress Lady. No means no.

As I mentioned above, there wasn't much activity on this day. I went out to dinner with some girlfriends, then we were invited to a VIP booth at a local club, so a few of us went dancing and people-watching.

Me, Michelle, and Crystal

Later, we all met up with my trainer, who was at the pub next door to the dance club, so I felt much less guilty about not working out that day! You can't say I didn't meet up with my trainer! Ha!

Day 11:

I should have worked out yesterday because if I considered THAT activity to be nothing, then today I was a coma patient. Although I parted ways with my friends and the club at 11pm, I only got about two hours of sleep last night. I woke up and put on my gym clothes at 7:30am. I turned on my computer to boot up for work... and I fell asleep at my keyboard! Not good! I missed the gym and worked between tiny naps all day. Day 11 was pretty much ruined exercise-wise, unless I go now. But, I won't. I canceled my appointment at 6pm and told my trainer I needed one more rest day. He didn't fight me on it... hmmmm...

Perhaps from the lack of sleep, I found myself to be in a real down mood today. I rarely got up off of the couch, except for meals, etc. However, I did something I wouldn't normally do; I reached out to a friend for support. Thank goodness for people like Courtney who care enough to try to help lift my spirits. Before texting with her, I was seriously contemplating grabbing a pint of Ben & Jerry's from the hotel lobby. But, I texted her instead and she immediately provided sage advice, uplifting comments, empathy, and a contagious positive attitude! She helped me to stay on track with my nutrition today and I think the scale is finally calming down for me. I just hope that the few pounds I re-lost since day before yesterday are not from muscle-loss.

Courtney helping me with my nutrition at Subway while at BLR :-)

Today and yesterday are behind me. Tonight, my goal is to get to sleep at a decent hour. Tomorrow, my goal is to wake up around 5am and go straight to the gym. After that, I've scheduled a yoga class with my good friend, Marisa. I'm really looking forward to that! One of the morsels of advice given to me by Courtney was to find a partner to do any kind of exercise with that I can. So, instead of finding ONE person to work out with, I'm just asking everybody I know now! This just may work! So far, I have 3 hiking partners, 2 yoga partners, a 5K partner, 2 half-marathon partners and 4 gym partners! The BLR community, teambeachbody.com, and other fitness organizations always have groups that are looking for others to join and to do things together. I plan to take better advantage of this!

Finally, a bit of grammatically horrid inspiration, but I still like it :-)

See you on the fit side!
-Heather

At Home - Day 9 (The pumpkin bread novella)

FAT STATS

Heaviest weight (Feb 2011): 259 lbs

Starting weight at Biggest Loser Resort (Nov 2011): 217 lbs

Current weight: 191.4 (*%#!$&!) 

FUEL:

Approx 1210 calories

  

• Breakfast: 1/2 whole wheat grain tortilla, 4 egg whites, 1oz soy cheese
• Snack: apple
• Lunch: 2 slices whole sprouted wheat bread, spring lettuce, 2 slices organic ham, slice of light mozzarella, mustard.
• Snack: string cheese and a spoonful of pumpkin loaf
• Dinner: whole wheat sandwich thins, 3oz turkey, spring lettuce, slice of light mozzarella, mustard
• Snack: 3oz grilled chicken

THE BURN:
Approximately 550 Calories burned

 30 minutes - Treadmill at incline 10, speed between 3.5 and 4.0 for 2 miles.

1 mile run on treadmill.
20 minutes - Treadmill at speed 3.0

SELF ASSESSMENT:

• Personal score: A- (I was too tired to wake up at 4:30am and get in my morning workout, but I walked around my office at every opportunity today, took only the stairs, used the fit ball as my chair all day, and stretched using my office furniture. Additionally, I achieved a PB <personal best, not peanut butter> with my personal trainer today! See below for details...)

MY DAY:

Today was my first full day back to work. It was really nice to see some surprised faces and slightly dropped jaws on the guys as I walked in! I work with mostly men and they all made me feel really good today! I got lots of "wows" and then I would ask, "Do you notice a difference?" and the responses were, "Uh, yah!" and "You look beautiful!" (I can't remember the last time a guy said that to me and I heard it twice today! I'm beaming!) I was also extremely and very pleasantly surprised at the number of people who told me they have been reading this blog! I can't tell you how much it means to have that kind of support! Thank you, EVERYONE who takes any time out of their day to read this! It started as a therapeutic journal for me and I never anticipated that anyone would want to read it, let alone be inspired. It means so much to me when someone tells me they decided to go to the gym or change something in their lives because of this blog. I can't think of a more amazing compliment. THANK YOU!

Special shout-outs to Srikanth, Swarna, Karla and John:

• Congratulations, Srikanth and Swarna for taking that step to join the gym! I'm so glad you're enjoying reading about my journey! If you have any questions, I'd be happy to help! I wish the best for you both!
• Karla, you've been an amazing friend for years and years. You've always been a pillar of strength for me, even when I was at my lowest. I can't tell you what it means to me that you've found inspiration in my words and that I'm at least partially able to return to you what you've done for me for so many years!
• And, to John for being a loyal blog-reader, even though I had no idea until today, and caring enough to let me know that he'd beat the pulp out of any guy that treats me poorly (Love you for that! You made my day!).

When I arrived at my office this morning, the pumpkin bread was staring at me again. I swear that thing grew a puppy dog face and was giving me sad eyes out of being neglected. (Obviously, I become easily obsessed with sweet treats. See Donut Saga in prior blog post).

11:00 AM: I  made a bunch of snacks for myself to ensure I wouldn't get too hungry during my work day.
 

 
I ate half of the ham sandwich I prepared for myself at home, just to make sure I didn't let myself get hungry and pounce on the pumpkin loaf. I'm not going to lie... I was kind of scared of it! Either it was going to be so sweet that it will taste disgusting (highly unlikely), or it's going to be so good that I won't be able to stop eating it and some hot single guy will walk into my office as I look up at him with my cheeks stuffed, crumbs down my shirt, and chocolate all over my face while mumbling through a mouthful of bread, "en I hel u?" <That's "Can I help you?" in Pumpkinbread-ese> So, I sat and stared at it... wrapped as though it was not at all dangerous or ill-intentioned.

11:15 AM: I unwrapped the pumpkin bread and put it right in front of my computer screen with the teambeachbody.com website up in the background. Man oh man, that smelled sooo good! I'll bet that little loaf weighs at least one pound!

11:20 AM: I'm having a small spoonful of the bread...I just had to taste it. Also had to make sure I got at least two chocolate chips and a nut in that tiny bite.... chomp chomp... ummm... WATER! An entire glass of water! Holy poop on a stick, that was unbelievably super sweet!!!! My taste buds and sugar tolerance have definitely changed! I'm glad I tried it, because the obsessing instantly terminated with that bite, but I wrapped that thing back up and gave it to a colleague. I'm sure it's just as delicious as years' passed, for people who are used to ingesting sugar. I'm glad someone will enjoy it!

I finished out my day and headed to the gym.

I'm a little concerned about the slight weight gain I've experienced recently, but I know I'm burning more each day than I'm taking in. I felt it was important to blog this lull in my weight loss progress, because I think we are all faced with something like this at some point. I'm confident in my nutrition and I've been so careful! I am NOT giving up!  Besides, I feel great and that should count more than anything, right????
 
I talked to my trainer about it tonight and he seems to think the wine and salt on Sunday night has something to do with it... he said my body fat is not going up (I get measured daily with calipers), so I should be okay. He plans to measure me again tomorrow morning.

I mentioned the possibility of running a half-marathon to my personal trainer today (Chris). His reaction: "Really? Jump on that treadmill!" When am I going to learn that you don't divulge long-term fitness goals to an insane (in a good way), former Marine personal trainer unless you want to experience severe pain. And oh, I did. I say this with the utmost love and respect, but that !*&@!$#er had me complete two miles at an incline 10 and between 3.5 and 4.0 mph, THEN just when I think we are wrapping up our session, he asks, "How fast do you think you can run a mile?" The last time I ran a mile, it took about 14 minutes, but for some reason, I blurted out, "13 minutes." He commanded, "Get on the treadmill... I think you can do it in 10." WTF?!?!? 10??? Are you effing insane? Mmmm hmmmm... 10... You're gonna see my ass fly off the back half of that damn thing in about three minutes! Just sayin'!

I am not even going to try to lie; it wasn't pretty. About four minutes into the run, my breathing became somewhat erratic. Like a drill sergeant, he got me back on track... every four steps, exhale sharply. Inhale for three steps, exhale on the fourth.  Shoulders relaxed. Arms at sides and pointed forward, lean back, focus, no noise except for the breathing! It's a lot to remember and focus on, but I finally caught my rhythm again... for a minute. At six minutes, I thought I was going to die. He lied to me and told me I was 75% done. I looked down at the display and almost gave up. He must have seen the "eff this" look on my face because he changed the treadmill display so that I couldn't see my progress any longer. UGH!

At this point, I detest this man and want to wipe that freakin' smirk off his face with my sweaty shoe! I kept attempting to reach for the STOP button, but he wouldn't let me quit! I'm glad he didn't. Before I knew it, and when I seriously thought I wasn't breathing any longer, I came up to less than a quarter-mile left! I just kept chanting "I can do anything for 2 minutes" (something I remember trainer Tonia saying at BLR during "T" class). Then I was at .9 miles! The last .1 miles went very quickly and even though I felt like I was going to bust a lung open and throw up at the same time, I FINISHED! One mile in 10:12! What???? No way that just happened! I must have looked nauseated because my trainer pointed at the garbage can and helped me outside for fresh air. I didn't puke, but my lungs were on fire and my stomach was flipping me off. However, I felt so incredibly accomplished and proud! At that point, I decided it was ok to love him again.... (sorry about the whole sweaty shoe thing).

I came home from the gym and decided to see what was on TV. I was watching (for the third or fourth time) "Biggest Loser: Where are they now?" and my favorite part is when Tara comes out on stage to talk to Ally, Bob, and company about completing the Ironman. They show clips from the race and she makes it look so easy! My girl ran that Marathon in just over 5 hours, AFTER swimming for more than 2 miles AND biking more than 100 miles! That's insanely fast! She is such an amazing woman and I am so lucky to have spent time with her at BLR. She is definitely one of my inspirations and one of the reasons I want to run that half-marathon in San Francisco in April 2012.



During week 2 at BLR


I have to get to bed at a decent hour tonight because Chris and I are meeting up at 6am for a morning workout and I'd like to get in a 45 minute warm-up before then.

Here's to a fabulous tomorrow!

See you on the fit side!
-Heather

At Home - Day 8

FAT STATS

Heaviest weight (Feb 2011): 259 lbs

 

Starting weight at Biggest Loser Resort (Nov 2011): 217 lbs

 

Current weight: 189.9 (I'm hanging on to the 180's for dear life and blaming sodium for the overall near 1lb gain since Friday)

 

FUEL:

Approx 1230 calories

  

• Breakfast: whole wheat sandwich thins, almond butter
• Snack: light string cheese, banana
• Lunch: whole wheat sandwich thins, lettuce, ground chicken patty, slice of mozzarella, ketchup and mustard.
• Snack: Apple
• Dinner: Trader Joe's Chicken Tikka Masala
   

THE BURN:
Approximately 426 Calories burned

40 minutes - Elliptical
20 minutes - Circuit with Dumbbell bicep curls, plank, seated cable rows, and treadmill sprints

 

SELF ASSESSMENT:

• Personal score: B (I was tired from very little sleep, then heading to the office early this morning. I'm proud of myself for waking up from a nap this evening to head to the gym.)
   

MY DAY:

I thought today was supposed to be my first day back to work, but apparently it was a holiday for the company. Imagine my surprise when I arrive at my office to see the gates closed and the parking lot empty. I still went inside to work, though. I had more than 3500 emails to tend to after being away for four weeks. It took me almost three hours to just get rid of the spam and vendor mail. However, it was a good three hours because I was able to test my new fitness ball that I plan to use as my office chair! It's not too bad! I could feel my core engaging and I was very conscious of when I would start to slouch. My back felt better than normal this evening, too... not sure if the ball had anything to do with it, but I'll be using the ball again tomorrow. Added bonus: When I get angry or frustrated, I have something to kick across the room! Joy!

I walked into my office this morning and was immediately confronted with a gift.... a food gift. Not just any food gift, but Teresa's famous pumpkin, chocolate chip loaf. I'm not sure I can convey the actual level of deliciousness of this cake/bread/loaf thing. It's moist and scrumptious and has chocolaty goodness in every bite. Teresa wraps this amazing treat in the prettiest cellophane, which makes it call out, "Unwrap me! Don't ignore me! You know you want me!" <yes, yes I do...no!... yes...no!>

I was afraid to touch it, so I left it at the edge of my desk. I could devour that entire loaf in four bites. I think it's meant to last about a week, but in the past it's never seen a second day in my presence. I may have a morsel of it tomorrow... I just have to make sure I bring plenty of healthy snacks and not to unwrap it when I'm ravenous.


Being back in the office and *truly* back in touch with my computers was interesting. As I was reading my plethora of email, I realized that so much can happen in just four short weeks!

• I found out that more than half of my staff is on vacation (I guess I didn't really look at the overlaps on the calendars when the requests came in. Apparently, I just said, "yes" to anything they asked me just before I left. Come to think of it, I am pretty sure I was in an "eff it" kind of mood since about late October.)
• My fairly young and very fit boss, apparently, almost died last week! He had complications after a surgery and ended up almost bleeding out in ICU! I've been working for him for more than five years...I can't believe nobody called to tell me! I'm wishing him a super speedy recovery!
• I forgot that I have a boot camp style class next week for an additional certification related to my job. Ugh. I don't think I'll ever be done with "school." Maybe I chose the wrong profession. CPEs  and certifications suck.
• I also have to be interviewed by some "authority" for some other requirement/certification for my job. Really, people? One at a time, please! I'm already miffed about having to study for the first one. Workouts will take priority! Sorry! (that's the NEW Heather talking... old Heather would have let the gym fall to last priority immediately for her job. No more!)

I sat at my desk, droning through email, and wondering how I was going to fit in a little gym time during my work day. I think this will be one of my greatest challenges. It's not healthy for me to sit at a desk all day and I know I need to break up the lack of physical activity with something! The gym is across campus in another building. Will I have the motivation to get there? How can I get the most out of a lunch time workout?


After a few hours looking through email, I packed up my stuff and left the office. I wanted to be sure I was prepared for the rest of my week and the resumption of my "real life," so I headed to Trader Joe's and bought healthy snacks and meals. I individually wrapped all the meats in the proper serving sizes, so that I could just grab the right portion, defrost, and cook. Trader Joe's is an awesome store for healthy, quick options. Most of the ingredient labels have just the natural food on them - none of the preservatives, man-made substances, fillers, or oils/sugars.


After my grocery store adventure, I headed to the gym. I set up my own little circuit training and it was kind of fun! I was lucky that nobody else was in the gym, or it may have been a little too inconvenient to enjoy. I'm heading back to the gym at 5am, then off to a personal training appointment at 6am, across town. After that, I head to work where I'll attempt to squeeze in a lunch workout session. Then, I'm meeting my friend, Jaclyn, for yoga at 7:30pm back in midtown. Full day tomorrow! I hope that means I'll get a good burn so that I can get safely into the 180's and stop flirting with that 190 mark!


One last note: I just saw Jennifer Rumple (Season 12 at home winner of The Biggest Loser) post that she wants to run a half marathon in April in my neck of the woods! Looks like I have something to focus on for training! Me? A half marathon? Four weeks ago, had someone asked me to run for ANYTHING, I would have said, "No flippin' way... only when chased, and even then I'd first opt for pepper spray." I'm seriously considering entering this half marathon, just to see if I can finish it. I wanted to post this here in my blog so that you can all hold me accountable to proper training and nutrition from now through April.

I feel like I'm ready to take on reality! Wish me luck!

Crap! It's after 11:30pm and I have to be up at 4:30am! Not a good start to the whole "back to reality" quest! Ut oh!

See you on the fit side!
-Heather

At Home - Day 7 (Merry Christmas!)

FAT STATS

Heaviest weight (Feb 2011): 259 lbs

Starting weight at Biggest Loser Resort (Nov 2011): 217 lbs

Current weight: Unknown. Parents don't have a scale... let's just say that I'm not going to rush to see what it says tomorrow morning, but I guarantee that whatever it says will propel my booty into the gym, pronto!

FUEL:

Approx 1400 calories

  

• Breakfast: whole wheat thins, almond butter
• Snack: light string cheese
• Lunch: 3 cucumber slices with crab, shrimp, onion, lemon and curry. 1/2 cup of grapes.
• Snack: 6 oz glass of wine (Chardonnay). Apple.
• Dinner: 4oz smoked ham, 1/4 cup scalloped potatoes, 1 1/2 cups green beans. 4oz glass of red wine (Pinot Noir).

THE BURN:
Whatever my BMR is. I did absolutely nothing today. My biggest burn was probably achieved by taking a shower or pacing the food table. However, it IS my rest day today.

SELF ASSESSMENT:

• Personal score: C- (Even though it's my rest day, I should have at least taken a walk or lifted weights. My parents have a gym in their home and I didn't touch it. However, I'm proud of myself for not over-doing it on calories! That was TOUGH!)

MY DAY:

Day 2 at the parents' house...

I made it through breakfast ok with my pre-packed almond butter sammy, but as soon as the treats were laid on the table, I reached for a handful of the hot links wrapped in Pillsbury crescent dough as though they were disappearing before my eyes and I had to save them! I stopped myself, cursed and my brother says, "Still fighting old habits, eh?" OMG, you have no idea! The instinct is almost robotic! Now that I am semi-aware of these habits, I can't imagine all the mindless calories I've consumed in my life!

Then, I felt myself get nervous! Almost like a panic attack! My BLR therapist, Essara, told me to identify the feeling and think about it in the moment to understand the source/cause. This is supposed to help me become more aware of my actions as they relate to emotional eating. Here's what happened:

After I reached for the greasy links, and had a minor self-beat-down moment with my brother keenly observing in the background, I immediately looked around for more healthy food! Bless my mom's heart; she tried to make me a healthy snack by putting shrimp, crab and onions on top of cucumber slices... Only problem was she "bound" it with olive oil, so the fat content was higher than I would have preferred, but it was still an awesome alternative to what was on the table.

Anyhow, I immediately shoved two cucumber hors d'ouvres in my mouth, then my dad takes the plate and starts offering them to my uncle (who is notorious for devouring everything in sight, then asking for more) and to everyone else! I panicked! (Really? Over a snack?) Subconsciously, I was thinking, "What am I going to snack on if everyone eats those?!?" (as if I was facing imminent famine and being banished to a third-world country)

Suddenly, RoboHeather kicked in and went straight to the fridge! Crazy thing is that I wasn't even hungry! I was on auto-pilot and my heart was racing over a freakin' cucumber snack! Ridic! I opened the fridge and immediately (mentally) slapped my own hand as the internal dialogue began with, "What are you DOING?!?"

I glance to my right to see the "fit" brother stuff a fudge cookie in his mouth...

Grrr. I can't believe nutrition and avoidance of awful foods is still this difficult! I knew my parents' house was a binge trigger for me, but I had no idea how strong that trigger was until today.

Little side note: Isn't it funny how, when you start to lose weight, your whole family has diet advice for you? LOL! I just listen and nod. 

So, my uncle asks how work has been since Thanksgiving and I explained that I've been on vacation the whole time, but I go back to work tomorrow (if I still want a job). When he asked where I went for my vacation, I told him, "Biggest loser Resort." He looked really confused (apparently, he doesn't watch the show) and he asks, "Biggest Loser? What is that? An Indian casino or something?" Bwahahahaha! That's Uncle Jim!

Back to the food choices today...I used part of my 10% for a glass of wine with my daddy (our tradition) - totally worth it! Drinking good wine together is one of our favorite things and we even have special glasses from which to drink! This is something I will not give up to any program :-)

After a glass of wine, I was feeling pretty good and I felt myself getting the munchies (it was just wine, I swear!) I was staring down the artichoke cheese dip bread bowl, something fierce. I believe I may have even been pacing and stalking the table at one point (think jungle cat scoping out a helpless bunny). Mom saw my wild eyes and confiscated the contraband. Aw.

For dinner tonight, we are having ham and scalloped potatoes. This will make up the rest of my 10% for the week... My ability to exercise portion control is going to be tested and is questionable, but the "food gestapo" is on my ass (this is the nickname I just gave to my brother, to which he replied, "Geez! Someone's hungry!") hee hee! I figured he was right, so I grabbed an apple.

The aromas coming from the kitchen are inducing instantaneous, spontaneous salivation (is that a word? If not, it is now!)! Smells soooo delicious! I will be using a small plate (not a regular-sized dinner plate) and filling half of it with green beans. I'm being mindful of the sample plate we were introduced to the first week at BLR. Although tonight is part of my 10%, the tiny plate will be proportioned as follows: 1/2 veggies, 1/4 carbs (potatoes tonight), 1/4 protein (very salty protein, because it's ham). Mom let me know that she put olive oil in the green beans as well . Oh well- just means less veggies and a few more calories for me. I'll likely be bloated from all the sodium anyway as I'm positive I've gone above 900mg for the day! Lots of water for me tonight and tomorrow!

Not bad for all the food challenges today, though! I made it through! Ha!

Two final thoughts for today:

• I am missing my Van 4 peeps and other buds like crazy! Perhaps because I subconsciously feel a lack of support regarding nutrition today, but I'm sure it goes deeper than that.

• Thought I'd share a true display of love in spirit of the holiday! Court and Alex: So glad you could be together for Christmas! You are the cutest couple ever and I LOVE this pic! You both look AMAZEBALLS! (That one's for Alex) ;-)

Merry Christmas, everyone!

See you on the fit side!

-Heather

  

At Home - Day 6

Merry Christmas Eve, Everyone! (A little late because of the posting time, so Merry Christmas as well!)

FAT STATS

Heaviest weight (Feb 2011): 259 lbs

Starting weight at Biggest Loser Resort (Nov 2011): 217 lbs

Current weight: 189.5 lbs (ut oh...gained another quarter of a pound. Guess it wasn't the banana... maybe I'm getting too much sodium?)

FUEL:

Approx 1310 calories

• Breakfast: whole wheat sandwich thins, 4 egg whites
• Snack: banana (great fuel before a workout)
• Lunch: whole wheat sandwich thins, ground chicken patty, ketchup and mustard. String cheese 
• Snack: apple and string cheese
• Dinner: whole wheat sandwich thins, ground chicken patty, ketchup and mustard. Black pepper and spinach

I should get bonus calorie burn points for watching my family stuff themselves with pizza, cookies, and candy... ugh. At least I had the foresight to bring my own food! Thank you, Whole Foods!

THE BURN:
Approx 500 calories (I really need a BodyMedia or a Polar to get a more accurate reading!)

• 40 minutes on treadmill at incline
• 1 mile run at 5.5mph
• 30 min of stretching
• 30 min of foam-rolling

SELF ASSESSMENT:

• Personal score: C+ (I am glad that I went to the gym because I had an emotional hiccup this morning that almost made me skip it)

MY DAY:

Merry Christmas Eve to all!

The first thing I do every morning is get up and put on gym clothes. I figure that even if I don't really feel like going to the gym, the clothes may motivate me and/or take away the excuses related to changing my clothes. Additionally, if I am wearing gym clothes, maybe I'll feel guilty about taking them off if they're still perfectly clean. In the past, it worked about 50% of the time and it happened to work today!

I had my gym clothes on and was ready to go, when I received a not-so-flattering Facebook post. It was just a few small words, but they hurt. I dropped my towel, keys and water bottle on the counter, grabbed my iPhone, and curled up on the couch. For a few minutes, I just remained horizontal and stared out the window. My mind went to, "Just get dressed and head to the parents'... you can work out tomorrow." and "I don't feel like working out, I just want to sleep." As I was laying there, I received a comment on my blog that was positive and inspirational! After reading it, I got a twinge of energy and decided to post on Facebook that I was headed to the gym. The Facebook post received two responses stating that because I was going, others were going as well! Accountability! I got myself off the couch and went! It was actually a great workout because I channeled my hurt into frustration that I needed to exercise out of my mind and heart. The end result was a ton of sweat with a smile and I headed up to my parents' house feeling accomplished and guiltless.

Once I got to my parents' house, I was immediately faced with the temptation of pizza, candy and cookies. I'm sure glad I brought my own sack of food! They chowed down on melty cheeses and greasy goodness while I had my healthy snacks. I was upset at the time, especially since they asked ME to go get the pizza. I just turned to my mom, rolled my eyes and went, "Really?!?!?" But, I decided to bring my niece and nephew along for the ride and turn it into something fun that wasn't about pizza. Pizza just happened to be there, but it was a fun time to bond with the kids and have an awesome car ride with good music! Plus, being able to take "Mine vs Theirs" photos is kind of fun!

Mine

Theirs

Pizza run with the kiddos!

Some of you have inquired as to why I don't allow myself to cheat on my program. I'm careful to say "program" here because I refuse to think of this as a diet - it's a lifestyle change! At times, I even receive comments like, "You should reward yourself! You're doing so great!" or "You worked out so hard this week, one <insert bad food here> won't hurt!" I'd like to clear up some misconceptions here...

First, I don't deprive myself of anything. My program consists of a "90/10" rule. This is something that was impressed upon us ad nauseum at Biggest Loser Resort. Eat clean, lean and pure 90% of the time, and save 10% of the time for foods that don't fit into that category. This equates to approximately 3 meals per week to eat whatever you want. I have these three meals in my head at all times and when I'm faced with temptation, I ask myself, "Is it worth making this part of my 10%?" Every temptation is an option that is technically "on my program."

However, with that said, I have other factors I need to consider as well. In the first week at BLR, we learned about types of eaters. I am five out of six of the worst types of eaters. The seventh type is what we are all striving for:

1. Chaotic Eater (yup! all the way!) = Has no routine and frequently skips meals. No memory of how much or what they have just eaten. Eat what's available and never plans ahead.
2. Unconscious Eater (definitely) = Usually eat while doing other things such as working, reading, watching TV, or driving. Also eat whatever is available and rarely identify if they are hungry or full.
3. Emotional Eater (eff yes...can I get an "amen!") = Uses food to cope with or avoid feelings. Food numbs them and they can feel powerless around food. They know they eat too much, but usually only realize it after they're done eating.
4. Waste Not Eater (mmm hmmm... I attribute this to the "starving people in Ethiopia guilt trips of childhood) = Hates to see food go to waste. Overeat most often when food is available in abundance (buffets).
5. Refuse Not Eater (This happens to me when I am meeting someone's family for the first time) = Cannot refuse food for fear the will offend or disappoint someone. They give other people power over what and how much food they eat, rather than listening to their own hunger and fullness levels.
6. Restrictive Eater (meh - not so much) = Always on a diet and creates new good and bad food lists just as often. Vigilant about reading labels, weighing and measuring food, which usually leads to under eating and binging. Very little pleasure out of eating (ummm... definitely NOT me), fearful of eating with others, and constantly concerned with what they will eat next.
7. Intuitive Eater (working on it! This is where I want to be!) = Conscious of their body's hunger signals. They eat only until they are satisfied and have no fear of over-eating. Trust themselves around food and experience no guilt about eating food they enjoy. Conscious and mindful of their food choices, which are mostly in favor of their health.

Knowing this about myself, I try to keep my mind in number seven (7) as often as possible. I'm still in the beginning stages of my program where nutrition and exercise are not quite yet habitual. I am also very very aware of how sweets affect my body. I had a glimpse of this while still at BLR and trying to eat frozen yogurt! The night and morning immediately after our outing is still too fresh in my memory to repeat. It may have been the best timing and method to cheat! I'm definitely off sweets for awhile (with the exception of the hypnotic and mind-altering mention of donuts that seemingly possesses my dialing fingers <See At Home - Day 5>)

After spending all that time detoxing at BLR, sugar tastes WAY too sweet (I was able to surmise this fact after using half of a Splenda in an iced tea, taking one sip, and spitting it back into the glass), will make my energy crash and will likely give me a headache, stomach ache, or both.... I hate the thought of something coming back up as quickly as it went down. I'm sure others at the table would agree with me there.

I'm hoping to reserve my 10% for things like 4-5oz of a delicious steak or some pasta.... things that I truly enjoy that aren't going to send my body into a sugar spiral or cholesterol coma. I'm not saying that I'll never have a red velvet cupcake again.... I'm just saying that I won't be having one right now because it doesn't appeal to me and I don't wish to use it as part of my 10% today.

The other fallacy in thinking that I would like to address is the rewarding of oneself with poor food choices when you do a great job. Absolutely, reward yourself! You deserve rewards for your accomplishments and attaining your goals! But, why would you reward yourself with bad food? It's counter-intuitive to hurt your body as a reward for treating it well! Rewards should be things like trips, movies, new shoes, clothes, etc! Things that won't make you feel guilty afterward and that you can continue to use as functional items or good memories. If you are working out all week just to have cheesecake on Friday, you may be setting yourself up for continuous disappointment since your reward is counter-acting your short-term gains. Please consider the 90/10 rule!

Please don't get me wrong... this is NOT easy. It takes strength, support, will, determination and motivation. One or more of these may constantly be lacking...You will slip up and that is OK!!! If you have to take each day, one meal at a time, that is OK too! Don't let your last meal define your next one. Brush it off and move on. If you are strong enough to bypass a temptation (like my donuts) that you would have never been able to avoid in the past, then celebrate it! Pat yourself on the back or go buy yourself a new workout outfit and relish in the fact that your ass is going to look that much nicer, that much more quickly!

Have a safe holiday, everyone! I will probably be a little late on tonight's blog as well, since I'll be spending the day with my family and traveling tonight.

My bro (Wyatt) and Me

My bro (Clint) and my niece (Bianca) and nephew (Tyler)

Siblings :-)

Back to work tomorrow after four weeks off! This should be interesting! We'll see if anyone notices a difference at the office! Ha!

Lots of love!

See you on the fit side!
-Heather

At Home - Day 5

FAT STATS

Heaviest weight (Feb 2011): 259 lbs

Starting weight at Biggest Loser Resort (Nov 2011): 217 lbs

Current weight: 189.25 lbs (gained a quarter of a pound since yesterday... Must have been the banana - LOL)

FUEL:

Approx 1260 calories

• Breakfast: banana, whole wheat sandwich thins, almond butter (again... it's just SO easy!)
• Snack: none today (in retrospect, I need this snack so that I'm not so hungry later in the day)
• Lunch: whole wheat sandwich thins, ground chicken patty, ketchup and mustard
• Snack: two small lettuce wraps with chopped chicken, onions and light soy sauce
• Dinner: Ahi tuna, black pepper and spinach

THE BURN:
Approx 600 calories

• 20 minute walk - 1.3 miles
• One hour with personal trainer
• 30 minute walk - 1.75 miles
• 30 minutes on treadmill at incline
• Dumbell workout
• Lots of planks. Meh!

SELF ASSESSMENT:

• Personal score: B+ (I am finding that evening workouts are not my thing!)

MY DAY:

What a great day with so many wonderful, little surprises! I got off to a pretty good start, exercise-wise, once I inhaled some breakfast. I went to bed a little hungry last night and woke up ravenous! Even so, I always find it difficult to eat just after I wake up. Oranges go down well, but bananas, not so much! I choke them down because I need that jump start to my metabolism!

I headed out the door to my personal training appointment into a cray cray 27 degrees! No gloves, wearing capri workout pants, and wishing I was back in bed. An hour and a half later, it was still only 32 degrees and I offered some strange lady $20 for her gloves as I passed her in the park... all she did was mumble and walk faster! (Hey Beezy! I'm freezing over here!)

brrr

I'm not going to lie, the first 10 minutes on treadmill were no effing picnic today! When I looked at the display and saw that only 10 minutes had passed, I almost hit the stop button, but I told myself to go at least one mile...

the first mile - it was a doozy

Just then, I remembered that while at the Biggest Loser Resort, I would be super tired during the morning hikes but would get a second wind after a mile or two. On one hike in particular, the "Mamma Jamma" hike, (named after a hilacious hill that seemingly went straight up into the air... you almost had to run up it, just so you wouldn't fall backwards... Too bad crying up the hill doesn't make you move faster! Ha!) Keith and I both had our iPods/iPhones playing music and the same song came on for both of us in our Playlists at the same time (Pitbull's Calle Ocho). The song's beat had us both dancing and jogging at the same time. Today, the song came on right at that 10 minute mark on the treadmill... I was instantly energized, remembering Mamma Jamma and envisioning Keith giving me the, "work harder you big pansy!" look... so, I did! Before I knew it, 30 minutes had passed and it was time for strength training!

I made it!

After I made myself some lunch, I received a message from Tony, asking me to come visit him! Tony is like another little brother to me and I missed him lots while I was away! It was really good to see him and catch up! Especially when he said I look the thinnest he's ever seen me look! (Yay! Small victory dance!)

My baby boy, Tony! <3

Tony and I talked about signing up for a few 5Ks together (as he served me seared ahi over spinach with no oil, no butter, no sauce, and no salt)... we'll see!

Tastes much better than it looks!

Then, as I'm sitting at the bar, listening to him and his buddy, Paul drone on about their fantasy football teams, I get a Message on Facebook that says, "You look pretty tonight." (stalker?) I looked up and saw my friends, Jason and Bryan! Fun fun! We always have such great laughs together! Love those two!


After that, I did a little Christmas shopping (finally), well - I cheated a little. I went to the gift card kiosk at Safeway and chose a variety and plethora of gift cards for my immediate family.


I thought I'd be bored for the rest of the night, but I got a call from a friend who invited me to his house for dinner. (How lucky am I to have all this company tonight?) However, it was at his house that I almost slipped up! After such a great day, it was surprising to see how easily a weak moment could sneak in! All it took was us getting comfy on the couch to watch a movie, then he blurts, "Gosh, I could really go for a donut right now!" (Of course he could! He can eat anything he wants and maintains the body of an adonis! So unfair! Butthead!)


The mere mention of the tasty treats caused me to completely forget about detoxing my body of sugar, how good I felt as a result, and my weight loss objectives! I try to remind myself every day that the extra weight, sugar, and fat were all playing a role in my back hurting, my hair falling out, and the fact that I always felt like a second rate version of myself! However, in the few minutes tonight that my mind veered toward donuts, none of that was in my head whatsoever! The drooling fat kid in my subconscious took over! Ack! Someone please kill that little bastard!


My immediate reaction to him was, "Don't say THAT! I love donuts! Bad!" but while he was deliciously describing how much he loved glazed donuts, I started reminiscing about the chocolate-covered bear claw, stuffed with crumbles and cinnamon, that I used to get at 2am during "those nights" in college. As if I suddenly became possessed by the fat fairy, I turned around and said, "You know what? If you really want to grab a donut, let's go! A donut sounds amazing!"


He started to grab his jacket as I called "Marie's" (apparently the best donuts in town) to see if they were still open. They were closed. Like someone feinding for heroin, I immediately began dialing all the other donut places that Google could muster up for me. Bless my friend's heart as he came up to me while I was dialing down the list and said, "It's ok, sweetie. I don't want one that bad." SNAP! Oh shit! What the hell was I doing?!?!? Thank goodness he lost interest or I honestly believe the next step would have been for me to order at least a half dozen and eat them all in one sitting! It's incredible how quickly a food addiction can take over your mind! Scary! Kudos to me for realizing this (albeit a little later than I would have hoped), and for not driving to a donut shop anyway on my way home!


One more small surprise... because of my BLR journey and my blog, I've been asked to become a coach for teambeachbody.com! This is such a tremendous honor and major surprise! Although I feel like I am nowhere near where I should be in order to be coaching other people, I am going to embrace this wonderful opportunity and pray that I can inspire at least one person out there to begin their journey and stay on track. I will be setting up a few web sites and officially starting my own business! Thank you, coach Matt, for believing in me and for asking me to be a part of your team! I'm super excited!


And, finally, a minor accomplishment today! I squeezed (more like pried, sucked, twisted, and contortioned) my way into those True Religion jeans! Woot woot! I was even able to button them! Would I wear them in public at this point? Hell no! But, they were on! Ha! Evidence follows:

Now, how do I get OUT of these?

Tomorrow, I am going up north to spend time with the family; triggers galore with all the sweets and bad food! Wish me luck! I'm not sure how much will power I have against crescent rolled hot links, See's candy, peppermint taffy, Frangelico hot chocolate, or wine <simultaneous sigh and tummy grumble> It'll all be worth it... it'll all be worth it... it'll all be worth it... donut... what?!?!.... no!.... it'll all be worth it.

Final thought:

I KNOW I can!

See you on the fit side!
-Heather

At Home - Day 4

During my personal training appointment today, Chris Savage (my trainer) told me that I should start blogging the following information:

FAT STATS

Heaviest weight (Feb 2011): 259 lbs

Starting weight at Biggest Loser Resort (Nov 2011): 217 lbs

Current weight: 189 lbs

FUEL:

Approx 1200 calories

• Breakfast: banana, whole wheat sandwich thin, almond butter
• Snack: 12 raw almonds
• Lunch: crab, shrimp, tomato, lettuce, cucumber, black olive salad.
• Snack: light string cheese and 6 raw almonds
• Dinner: zucchini, yellow squash, onions and chicken breast.

THE BURN:
Approx 600 calories

• One hour with personal trainer
• 30 minute walk
• 20 minutes incline on treadmill

SELF ASSESSMENT:

• Personal score: C+ (I could've done more, but I chose a massage instead)

MY DAY:

I was at Bel Air today and the cashier asked me how my day was going. Without even thinking about it, I smiled and said, "Excellent!" I don't know that I have ever done that before and actually meant it! Just then, I realized that for the first time in years, I was feeling amazing! I believe BLR has changed my life!

Today's exercise began with a one-hour fitness training appointment. We start each session with a body fat caliper test and a weigh-in. Chris and I were both surprised to see that I dropped five more pounds since Tuesday! I am now in the 180s!  Hopefully, I will never see a 2 in front of my weight ever again in my life!

Chris focused today on stretching out my IT bands with foam rolling. It isn't very strenuous, but it is a painful exercise. He also asked me to start blogging every single day AND showing my weight <yikes> and nutrition intake for the day. This will hold me more accountable to my journey, and also serve as a reminder as to how various moods and inputs may affect my progress. He warned me not to celebrate the highs too much, and to accept the lows and move on.  

I met one of my best friends, Laurie, for lunch today at our good old seafood hang out. I was surprised to see how little I could order on the menu that would be considered "on the program." Everything was fried, slathered in butter, or "stuffed." I opted for a seafood salad, with egg whites, and barely dipped my fork in the dressing that was on the side (it looked as though I hadn't used any when I was done). I had also forgotten about their crack-laced sourdough basket of evil they call "bread." I am sure I was salivating profusely like a drooling coma patient at the table.

It was great to see the bread-buttering, thin and beautiful Laurie and tell her all about my BLR experience. I got a little misty I when she told me that my blog inspired her to work out. She's been working out for about a week now, and she looks great! She also invited me to workout with her and a few of the girls from work at 4:30pm every day. Apparently, a few of them are training for either a marathon or half-marathon! I wonder if I'm ready to get in on that kind of action?!?! I think I am going to take her up on that and see what happens! You can never have too many work out partners! Plus, what's the worst that can happen? I can bring my cell phone and call a cab during the race, right?

During lunch, Laurie gave me a gift certificate to Massage Envy for Christmas. She's so thoughtful!!! I immediately headed to midtown for a wonderful 90 minute massage! I think I fell asleep three times, which is great for relaxation, but makes the time seem to pass WAY too quickly. Felt soooo incredible! This is my beautiful friend, Laurie:

Laurie-loo and her hubby

I finally went grocery shopping... stores were crowded, and people in Sacramento can be quite rude, but I tried to stay in a Zen place and not shove my cart up someone's keester. I did a good job! I exited the store without incident.

However, I live in a place that is far removed from any parking and it's not easy to drop off heavy loads in front of the building. I was struggling with five heavy bags when I finally made it to the lobby doors, only to be blocked by a crazy-eyed, 6'5 homeless man. I said, "Excuse me" and he snapped back, "I'm just trying to get food! Give me food!" and then proceeded to EAT his sign... I believe he ate the "Merry Christmas, I'm homeless" part of it, just like a cracker! Ummmm... awkward. Here I am, holding groceries and dude is eating his sign and won't let me in my building. Oh, did I mention there were two bicycle cops across the street, munching on donuts, watching this happen? Sacramento's finest! (Thanks for the assistance!) Who knows what crazy-eyes was going to try to eat next! I kicked rocks! I had to go around the building to another entrance where a very kind person helped me with my heavy bags.

In my blog yesterday, I mentioned that I took some "after" photos at a doctor's office...I have some of the before/after pictures below... I couldn't post all of them because I'm too shy to show that much of my body on the Internet. Besides, I'm not too sure many people would really WANT to see that much of me! LOL! This is a little embarrassing, but if it inspires just one person, then it'll be worth it. Here they are:

OK - enough of that <blushing>... change of subject...There's a 7:30pm yoga class that I'm debating whether or not to attend. What I really want to do is fall asleep! Besides, I wouldn't get home until 9pm and I don't want to run into crazy-eyes again in the dark. It would be a shame to pepper spray someone this close to Christmas.

I think I'll enjoy the sunset colors from my living room. It's a clear night and I can see the Sierra Nevada mountains... makes me want to pop open a bottle of wine and cook an Italian meal! Ahhhh....

(But, I won't.)

View from my living room tonight

Note(s) of the day:

1. Splenda is WAY too sweet!
2. When you are on a low sodium diet (less than 900mg per day), string cheese (the LIGHT, low moisture version) tastes like heavenly salty deliciousness... or, as Meg Gazaway would say, "It's an esophogasm!" Miss you, Meg!!!!
3. These things people call feelings are a big pain in my ass. Can I sell them or gift them to someone? Meh!
4. I love almond butter ... yum!

You bet your ass, I am! :-)

See you on the fit side!

-Heather