The Biggest Loser Season 12 Finale was a blast! Many many thanks to Kelly Rainville McCain, and her sister, Courtney Rainville! Kelly was able to get me a ticket through Courtney. I had my own little reserved seat and everything! Courtney was a season 12 contestant and she looks incredible! Absolutely beautiful!
 |
| Courtney and Me |
 |
| Me and Kelly (Courtney's sister) |
I was sitting in the third row up the stands, stage left. A few people from our resort got floor seats and were on TV for most of the night! It was an awesome experience, but I actually prefer watching it at home on my TV.... much more exciting and you can actually hear what Allison is saying. I had to keep reading the teleprompter so that I could figure out what was happening!
They just happened to seat me next to Jerry and Estella Hayes' cousins, Jim and Lynn! Jim and Lynn were at the resort with me and left just last week. Lynn was always super supportive and a good shoulder to lean on. Jim is hilarious and keeps the smiles rolling in! Jim was chosen during a commercial break to do a little dance competition for a prize. Soooo funny! Jim hates dancing. Still, he shook his money-maker while his wife cheered on as though he were in an Olympic event!
 |
| Jim, Me and Lynn |
They didn't allow cameras or cell phones inside (so I don't have any pictures of the studio), but some crotch-smugglers (Keith) managed to get their phones into the studio anyway. Bob, the Bachelor, was there in our section and Wolf, the American Gladiator, was down in front in the floor seats by Keith and Dr. H. Keith won a few DVDs and some other prizes for guessing which movie a quote came from. That's right up his alley!
The after-party was basically a bunch of people ordering drinks and appetizers in the Sheraton Universal Hollywood hotel lobby. Courtney's family had a VIP tent in the lobby, so I mostly hung out there and watched the show to see if I could spot myself in the audience. I kept receiving texts from friends saying, "I see you!" and I would write back, "We are at the after-party now. I already know who won." That seems to really confuse people when they see "LIVE" in the corner of their TV screen! Hahaha. The show is recorded at 6pm - 8pm and is LIVE for the east coast. It airs on the west coast just after it's recorded. Some pictures from the party are displayed below. I will re-think my outfit for next year. Nobody mentioned to me that it really wasn't at all flattering! I look like a potato sack! Haha!
 |
| Skinny Sunny and Me (I could wrap my arm all the way around her tiny waist!) |
 |
| Boston Johnny and Me! This guy is a hoot! |
 |
| Ramon and Me - Someone became a hottie! LOL |
 |
| Me and Becky |
 |
| Antone and Me (He's WAY tall... I'm about 5'9) |
 |
| Jennifer (at home winner of $100K) and Me. Love her! |
 |
| Dolvett (trainer... er...HOT trainer...) and Kelly |
Since I was driving that night and I was going to try not to miss classes the next day and BLR, I had one vodka soda at about 8:30pm and I left the Sheraton around midnight. I was back at BLR by 1:30am. Some others were out until after 4am! Apparently, the party moved upstairs into a suite and good times were had by all (more later on that). Unfortunately, even after that one drink and a few bites of raw ahi tuna (the only thing I had eaten since breakfast), my body was screaming "WTF!" to me...obviously intolerant of the toxins and sugars nowadays because of the BLR diet. Not pretty. I won't be partaking in my former drunkfests, Sunday Fundays, or Foodie Fridays again for some time.... none of that even sounds inviting anymore! OMG! What is happening to me? All I can think about now is "getting shredded!" I just want to be lean and clean! This is a FAR CRY from the cheesecake-loving, Milk Dudd-inhaling, vodka-slurping Heather of yestermonth! <Shaking head>
So, how do I know that good times were had by all in the suites at the Sheraton, even though I was sound asleep in my bed at that point? Funny you should ask! A very drunk, stumbling and slurring person decided to come by my room and tell me all about it at 4:30 effing AM! Yup! I was THRILLED! The best part was when, in mid-story, they passed out on top of my bed and barely left me a sliver of an edge to get what should have been the rest of my sleep that night. Essentially, I went to bed after 1:30am, was awakened at 4:30am, and was unable to get back to sleep before the first class, breakfast, and hike. By 8am, Mimi from the front desk called and asked if I was joining the hikes and I believe I mumbled, "No... need sleepy" in a Tommy Boy (ish) manner.
I slept until 10:30AM, then headed straight for the gym. I worked out until 11:15 AM, then attended a stretch class until lunch. For some reason, I haven't had much of an appetite for the last few days, so I only ate half of my lunch, then went to kickboxing class. It was very exciting to be able to punch and kick again! I wasn't able to go full-force, but I was still able to hit the bags hard enough to release any tension or frustration that may have been lingering in my body! I had forgotten just how therapeutic it was to hit a bag and it really made me miss my martial arts days.
If I can somehow maintain my physical condition after I return home (where my back is strong enough to do these things), I will be definitely be re-joining my Kovar's MMA training when I get back to Sacramento. I wonder if they'll still let me wear a green belt, even though I'm so out of practice and have forgotten most of my kata. This became very apparent when Keith approached me, gloves on and up, and asked me to show him some of my moves. My mind went blank! I'll tell you one thing, though. I'm rarely intimidated physically by other women, but I was ready to piss my pants when I saw Tara Costa throw a punch at a bag! That's one woman I would never want to hit me! Holy poo! <Mental note: Be VERY nice to Tara or she'll kick my ass!> In all seriousness, though, she is the type of athlete I aspire to become. The woman is unstoppable.
There were some mentionable points of both accomplishment and laughter throughout the rest of the day. During our "Mountain" class, (A class where you gradually increase speed and/or resistance every 3 minutes for 12 levels, until you reach your "max" intensity, then hold it, then run a few sprints) I didn't back down on the increases and actually ran for the last 12 minutes (4 levels) at 4.7, 5.0, 5.5 and 6.0, respectively! 6.0 was NOT easy. I thought my legs were possessed by Gumby and I was sweating like crazy!
Speaking of sweat, the funniest part of the class (aside from all the singing and dancing), was a very sweaty Keith hoisting our trainer, John, into the air! John wrapped his legs around Keith to hold on for dear life, but when they finally detached from each other, John was left with a little present. Keith was so sweaty that it soaked into John's sweats to give the perfect appearance of having had a little accident. Of course I got a picture of that! Ha! I also took a picture of my treadmill arm. That's not water on there - it's Keith's sweat breaching my perimeter. Ew. ("Boundaries, Keith!") <inside joke and shout-out to our resident psychotherapist, Essara >
 |
| Keith and John... and the Sweat |
 |
| More sweat... and my shoe |
After a water aerobics class, I topped off the day with 75 min of yoga with Haley! (Namaste) We got back to BLR at 9pm and the yoga was fantastic! I slept like a baby!
I can't believe I'm going to blog about this, but it is part of my journey here at BLR, so I will share with any of you who are willing to read about it. The reason I called BLR in the first place was because I found myself in a downward spiral, needing a vacation from work, and wondering why I was living my life in a highly-stressed and depressive state. I was gaining an average of a pound per day, I was losing my hair in clumps, I had black circles under my eyes and at times I would think about veering my car off of the San Francisco Bay Bridge while on my way to work: fleeting thoughts I would never act on, but thoughts nonetheless.
I was ready to quit my job and live a meager existence just so I didn't have to deal with my reality anymore. I could never figure out what, exactly, was making me so unhappy that I would just come home exhausted, lay on my couch, and eat until I fell asleep. I have a job most people would kill for! I have an awesome family! I live in a fabulous location with a view that takes my breath away. I have the greatest friends on earth and I can just take an elevator ride to find something to do at any given time, day or night. So... why was I not enjoying life?
I believe I have mentioned this before in one of my previous blogs, but that is right about the point where I met Timothy. Timothy is the homeless man who told me, "Life is mandatory, misery is optional." Why was I choosing to be miserable? Who could help me figure this out? It was becoming obvious to me that I needed not only to work on my body, but my mind and heart as well. Enter BLR.
This journey has enlightened me in more ways than I could imagine. First, through exercise, nutrition, and the fabulous Dr. Ray, my body got stronger and achieved a state of far less pain. This was the most drastic change that occurred for me while here at BLR. It had been so long since I was out of pain that debilitated me, I had forgotten how to focus on anything else except suriving with pain! I didn't even realize how much pain I had been in all of these years until I felt some relief!
 |
| The fabulous Dr. Ray |
Who knew this would trigger such a tremendous emotional response! Suddenly, I was happy, sad, lonely, scared, excited... all at once! I didn't know how to process all of these feelings that were surfacing! It was as though these feelings had been stuffed into an air-tight vault, only to be released when my physical pain was no longer present... Years of emotion came flooding to the surface all at one time. This has been sooooo tough for me as I have this innate need to maintain control, which leads me to the emotional aspect of my journey:
I know now what causes my sadness and why I've been single for so long. I am now doing everything I can to fix it, but I have a long road ahead of me. I have to undo about 20 years of fallable thinking and missteps.
The most difficult part for me is that I thought I had processed a lot of the not-so-favorable life experiences over the years, but it's apparent that I have ignored them more than anything. I have abandonment issues, which can be misconstrued by others as jealousy or co-dependency. This one has been the toughest for me to face, by far! I have trouble dealing with being left alone or "left out." I'm well into my 30's and this is still so hard for me, that it makes me want run away, hide, curl up into a corner and cry.
I feel so awful for having put some people here at BLR through the aftermath of this, but I'm working on changing my perspective and I just hope I don't alienate those I care about the most. I know I can overcome this and when I do, I'll be the best friend, sister, aunt and girlfriend, ever! I will continue to make mistakes, but I will grow from them. I have a good heart, a kind soul, and I will go to the ends of the earth for those closest to me... I will be the best person I can be to myself and to you. That's my promise to all the people I love and will ever love.
Finally, to Keith: I just want you to know how much I appreciate you. Your support and patience is incredible. You really have been there for me and I'm sorry if I'm not the best at showing my gratitude toward you at times. I adore you and you are one of the most awesome people I've ever met.
On that note, I'd better hit the gym and continue my journey!
See you on the fit side! (physically AND emotionally!)
- Heather
No comments:
Post a Comment