January 17-18, 2012: An "end" creates a new "beginning"

January 17-18, 2012:

 

 

 

Heading back in the right direction on the scale! I'm feeling better and better each day. Even though the scale isn't moving quickly, I see definite changes in my body! I gave away all my size 18 and size 16 clothes. I'm hoping it's "good riddance!" I've kept some size 14s and all of my size 12s, but just ordered some size 10s online today! I can't believe I'm almost to the single digits! I haven't seen those sizes since 1997  (yah, yah, Marisa... I know... you were in KINDERGARTEN in 1997...) Hahaha. Oh... almost forgot... some people asked my height. I'm just a hair under 5' 9 (now that Dr. Ray has "straightened me out.").

 

  

January 17:
Approximately 761 Calories

 

January 18:
Approximately 959 Calories

  

I didn't eat enough today and yesterday. I will likely have a small snack tonight, even though it's late, because I'm a little hungry. However, yesterday, I fell asleep at 4:30pm and unintentionally skipped dinner.

 

 

 

January 17:
Approximately 649 calories

• 6.5 miles on the bike
• 2.0 miles on the treadmill
• Foam rolling for 15 minutes

January 18:
Approximately 770 calories

• 3.6 miles of running at 5.5 - 6.0 mph on the treadmill
• Foam rolling for 15 minutes

 

 

 

 

Almost there! Whoops! Total Miles should read 61.1.

 

 

 

  Personal Score:  A

I have had a fantastic two days in the gym! It's making me super tired in the evenings, so I haven't been putting in a second workout each day, but I feel amazing after the morning workouts! When I arrived in the gym this morning, almost all of the equipment was taken. I usually like to warm up on the bike or the elliptical machine, but the only machine open was the treadmill. I hopped on and realized that I only had 45 minutes until I had to get ready for work. I wanted to get the maximum burn possible during that time, so I ditched my normal interval routine and decided to try to run a full mile without stopping. I set the pace at 5.5 and a mile came and went! I kept going... At 1.6 miles, I thought to myself, "I bet I can keep going to 2 miles." My heart rate seemed to stay around 140 and I was feeling really good! Next thing I knew, I had 2 miles down... Can I... should I... yes!!!!! I was going to try to run the distance of a 5K!

 

I made sure I had a good rhythm in my pace and breath, the right music on my iPhone, and a focal point at eye-height. At 2.8 miles, I felt a bit of a struggle, and the internal dialogue began. I can't remember how many times I had to tell myself, "You've got this! It's less than a mile left to go!" I got a small final burst of energy when I had a quarter mile left, so I decided to up the speed to 6.0 for a half-sprint to the end, and I made it! I'm not going to lie... I did a little happy dance in the gym to celebrate! My final time was 42 1/2 minutes for 3.61 miles.

 

 

 

New short-term goal: I am going to try to get my time for 5K to under 40 minutes within the next week.

 

 

I rushed home to get ready for work and start my day. As I attended meetings and fielded phone calls and email, it dawned on me that I there was something I needed to address today that I had been putting off for some time. I'm not sure if it was my run this morning, or maybe the Shakeology I had for breakfast, but I somehow found more self-worth today than I've felt for a long time.

Some of you may recall that back in December, I posted on FaceBook that there was a toxic person in my life that I needed to sever a relationship with. It was hard for me because that person did add a level of happiness and contentment to my life. They taught me a lot about myself and helped me to be less afraid of life. However, there were times that this person seemed to negatively affect my self-confidence and esteem. I would tell myself that I shouldn't let others "rent space in my head" since whatever they say is likely their issue and not mine, but that's easier said than done. Over time, the negativity has an impact, even if you don't realize it.

Sometimes, I would question whether I was "good enough"... not just for that friendship, but for most things in life. The logical side of me thought it was crazy to think that way, but the emotional side of me was battling with my emo-eating tendencies.

I decided this had to stop. I had a conversation with this person today and came to the conclusion that the relationship was, indeed, unhealthy. I politely explained that the relationship was no longer mutually beneficial and that it was best if we went our separate ways. It wasn't easy, and I'm sure it won't be easy for the next several months, but bottom line is that I thought I had a friend and I really didn't. I was a  good friend to this person, but there wasn't any reciprocation. I finally believe I am worth more than that... at least, that is how I feel today.

I think it's important that, as we embark on these journeys to better ourselves, we pay very close attention to aspects of our lives that are potential road-blocks or pitfalls. You may not recognize them at first, but most of us didn't get to "morbidly obese" (I cringed the first time I heard my doctor give me that label - I was ashamed and mortified), by having healthy influences and relationships around us. Change is mandatory if we are to succeed.... and we are ALL worth it!

See you on the fit side!

 

-Heather